Loss

How do we loose what we have never had? This year of 2006 has taken a strange toll on the emotional health of my family. On the surface of it all one would say that nothing so unexpected has occurred but through the eyes of my 12 year old daughter, the foundations of her life have been rocked. In January her grandmother who had been fumbling into dementia seemed to give up and begin to die. She was gone on Valentines day under a full moon. There was no great bond between them but the realization of impermanence struck home in the mind of a pre teen. She began to notice and think about the many deaths that stalk us on TV and in movies and literature.

In late march we all came down with a bout of flu. My wife was struck a bit harder than the rest of us and after a fainting episode, seemed to go into an imbalance that needed medical and emotional attention. The fainting spell and its consequences also placed a lasting fear of loss into the young ones mind.

Then again, the very friend portrayed in the image below playing saw left us very suddenly, taken by a stroke. My daughter did not remember meeting him some 7 years ago but she was well enough aware of the toll his death took on those of us who did know him.

So death has been flying about us and at a time when a young mind is trying to put it all in perspective. My family does not mask the reality of death with beliefs and theories but leaves it open and exposed to be what it is. There is evidence of truth all around us. Every flower that blooms and fades, every thing that forms and dissolves is evidence enough.

Yet it is a hard time for this young girl. The simple cutting of a tree can bring tears. But it is a time that will pass and hopefully leave a strength of character and an understanding of ones place in the greater flow of life.